The BABBs Guide

Bad and Basic Bogs Guide

About twenty-five years ago my friends and I used to keep the BABBs Guide for Pub Toilets – Bad and Basic Bogs Guide.

We had a star rating ranging from a single star up to four stars. A toilet could only be validated if three accredited members were in attendance.

We looked for:- Character, Distinctive Stench, Dampness, Filth and Squalor and a superabundant excess of pointless fresher cubes.

I think the only Four Star Toilet that the Bad And Basic Bogs Guide recognised was the King’s Arms pub in Bangor.

Despite hundreds of toilet freshers in the trough and about your feet, the stench of urine was overpowering.

That toilet alone justified our existence and inspections. The pub has now been ‘TRANSFORMED to an Irish theme-pub.

Everything in the Church Bay Inn is fine these days. BETTER THAN FINE.

However, all those years ago we felt compelled to consider awarding the Gentlemen’s Toilet a 3 Star status.

It was a very stormy autumn night and after a few pints and the odd pickled egg we made our inevitable visit to the toilet.

We were so impressed that we called an extraordinary meeting.

What really dazzled us was that this toilet was a urinal attached to the main building with a wall behind to protect users from casual or determined observation.

It raised itself above any toilet we’d validated before because the back of your head was lashed by driving rain as you performed your business.

It was awarded a Three Star Status without any argument.

Sadly, they have put a roof on it now and that old world magic has been lost forever.

IT’S A GOOD PUB THESE DAYS.

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